The conference had so many incredible speakers. Bob Goff (one of my favorites), Donald Miller, Rebekah Lyons.. (just to name a few). There was also a woman named Veronica Tutaj who spoke on behalf of Young Lives. She told an incredible story that made me cry so much (and loud enough) that a woman in front of me noticed and gave me a packet of tissues. My passion was coming to surface.
On that very same day I passed by a woman... at first I thought, "Oh hey! That's Jennie Allen she wrote Anything" but then I thought to myself "OH WAIT. THAT'S JENNIE ALLEN. She wrote a book that meant so much to me." So I nervously walked up and introduced myself. Later on that day (with the help of my sweet friend Jordan) I talked to her again while walking back to her car. I told her the impact that her book had on me as well as
my two older sisters. We began to talk about her new book, Restless. And then she goes to her car, gets the book out, and hands it to me (before it released, mind you). At that moment in time, I had no idea the impact it would make on me. I truly believe the book was a gift from Jesus. As my story continues you will find out why.
While reading Restless, I circled Jennie's words...
"The Holy Spirit will pour us into need, and who are we to judge what is the greatest need? This isn't about when or where; this is about getting over ourselves and just doing it." -Jennie Allen
On December 30, I spent the day with one of my best friends, Christi. We were both on the verge of tears thinking about how hard things were; transitioning into careers that we were so passionate about, but it did not turn out the way that we imagined. The real life was hard. That afternoon we went to Gregg and Robyn Stutt's house to sit and catch up on life. It was toward the end of our time there that I spoke up and told Robyn... "Just so you know, I think about Young Lives every single day. I haven't stopped." Gregg, who was standing by the fireplace, turned around, looked at me and said "Alright! Move on back up here and be our Young Lives Coordinator. I knew you'd be back up here eventually." That little conversation had me thinking even more...
Later on that evening, I was at dinner with Christi and my dear friend Allison. Allison (whose opinion I value deeply) looked at me and told me "I have been thinking and praying and I think that you should move up here to do Young Lives. It just sounds right." Christi agreed.
January 4
For the second year in a row I decided to give myself a word for the year. Last year my word was identity. This year,
trust. I spent time writing in my prayer journal. I asked him to help me trust him in relationships, my singleness, my finances, my career,
my life...
January 5
I told my story.
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Carissa and I |
I am a part of a CORE group discipleship class with Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock. I am so incredibly lucky to be in a group with five other girls with our leader, Carissa Hardage (she has been my mentor for over a year and has walked with me every step of the way. Words are not able to express my thought and gratitude toward her.)
Our assignment was to write out our story; from beginning to end. It was a long process, at times painful but all of the more beautiful. I was amazed by how the lives of these girls were touched by Jesus in such unique ways.
On this day I told my story. It took a little over two hours but I told it. Toward the end, Carissa posed the question to our group: "After hearing all of Sarah Ann's story, when do you think that she was the most joyful and in love with Jesus?" Everyone agreed that it was
when I was serving Jesus through the ministry of Young Lives.
January 10
I was sitting at Chick-Fil-A with Mia (another beautiful best friend who means the world to me). We were having a heart-to-heart. I had just been crying the night before at my house; overwhelmed by much and drained by even more. I couldn't quite put a finger on it. After a quick bathroom break I came back and told Mia that I had seen a young pregnant girl in the bathroom. Not five minutes later, another teen mom walked in. Soon after that, there was one more. I kept mentioning them and Mia finally said "Sarah Ann, you have to realize that whenever I saw those girls, I just saw another person. When you saw them...you saw THEM. You saw a teen mom. You have a passion and a heart for them." After some tears and more talking she told be quite honestly (which is why I love her). "Sarah Ann. If you decide to stay in Little Rock and teach, you are being selfish. There are people in Northwest Arkansas that need you, you know this."
Mia
saw my passion and potential even when I couldn't. I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am for a friend like her to see it in me and help me to see it in myself. What a gift.
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Mia and I- later that evening at the beloved Big Orange |
January 13
My family had a family birthday dinner for my Mom and sister, Mary Ellen. My mom looked at me and said "I don't want you to move." She was kind of teasing but really not at all. At the time I still wasn't sure but,
she was. My mom is a wise woman and I took those words to heart.
January 18
I was going to be in Fayetteville this weekend for Mia's birthday. With Young Lives so heavy on my heart, I called Robyn and asked if she would meet with me. We decided to meet and have an intentional conversation. After a cappuccino, a few tears welling in my eyes, and a prayer... almost two hours later we decided that I would intentionally walk toward this opportunity of serving with Young Lives.
January 20
While on my day off, I found these two bit of wisdom from Jennie in Restless...
"At some point you have to look at the motives of your heart, and if they are for God, then just do it."
"Personal fulfillment is fullest when we are involved in something bigger than ourselves, something for the good of others."
These two quotes, especially, helped my perspectives on things to change.
January 22
I saw this quote on a friend's Instagram account.
February 4
I woke up at 5am this morning with a phone call.. no school. It was a gift.
I was teary-eyed and my heart was full. I firmly believe that God had me right where I was... with a surprise ice storm to give me a day off from school, motivation to sit and read for more than 30 minutes (this is a big deal), these words whispered to me by him, and an unexpected phone call.
About 15 minutes after I stopped reading, I got a phone call from Robyn. She told me that she had recently met with a group of women in Northwest Arkansas who were ready to start Young Lives. They just needed someone to help show them what to do. Then, she began to tell me that she had talked to our regional director (over Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi) and the Young Lives Southern Divisional Coordinator out of Nashville. Both mentioned that the areas could give funding to Young Lives, allowing for a Young Lives Coordinator to be hired for Northwest Arkansas. Robyn then asked, "Sarah Ann, I really feel like God is moving us in this direction. I really just need to know if you are ready to take the next step in the process." If you take time to read over quote number two again.. "Knowing the exact next step in my race and trusting him with the darkness looming ahead."
My answer?
Yes.
February 8
I watched the IF:gathering with a few incredible girls. I heard Christy Nockels sing the song
"Oceans" by Hillsong United. It was my first time hearing it and I fell in love. It moved my heart in such a big way and continues to do so every time I hear it.
There were so many incredible women speaking at the conference. Shelly Giglio also said something that stuck with me...
"Our yes hangs in the balance of other people's futures."
February 14
I visited my sister, Becca in Jonesboro. At this point in time, I was thoroughly enjoying my job as a teacher. Things in my life were looking a little brighter. I wasn't in as much pain. In the midst of my decision making process, I was doubting. I did not want to leave my life in Little Rock that was becoming more and more comfortable...
I talked to Becca about everything. We both went to bed early that night and I read more of Restless and received another bit of confirmation....
Chapter 19, titled Untangling a Dream, speaks of the resistance we have whenever we feel called to something, but we have to count the cost. Leaving behind things that may make our heart hurt at the time but it will be worth it in the end. This is exactly what was happening with me. I doubted this movement of God in my life. I was comfortable. I did not want to leave... however, I knew if I decided to do it, it would be worth it.
Februrary 21-22
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our CORE group with the beloved Jen Hatmaker
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It was the weekend we had been looking forward to for months. Our favorite blogger/book writer, Jen Hatmaker was coming to speak in Little Rock. The series that she spoke on was titled Scandalous Grace. As we were listening to her there were lots of laughs, tears, learning... we left the weekend with our hearts full.
During all three of her talks, I had at least one or two of the girls in my group nudge me. Some of the things she was teaching us seemed as if they were directed toward me and what I was going through. During her last talk, with my older sister, Grace on one side, and my mentor, Carissa on the other... I began to cry, to weep. It was completely clear what my next step was.
"Jesus went to the sick, embarrassing people... to super uncomfortable and scary places... When we do this often times we are misunderstood... but we do it for the good of our savior, who saved our souls (and went lengths to do so)...If we follow Jesus there is LIFE. Joy. Peace. There is no shame; we are free."
"What is it that makes you cry tears? He will use this to point you in the right direction. Just do something. Start somewhere, even if it is messy or clunky. You do not have to have it all figured out before you put your yes on the table."
February 23
It was a Sunday morning. I woke up with a burning in my heart... it was time. I sat down on the floor of my room with tears in my eyes. I wrote down in my journal...
After this yes.. things started happening quickly. I told my principal and a few co-workers that I would not be coming back and told them why. All reactions were supportive and encouraging. I am beyond grateful for everyone at England Elementary.
March 4
Another snow day... (we had several this year). I woke up and decided to finish Restless. This is what I came across which moved me.
"Risk something. Step out and fail. Be the fool. Build a life that needs our God."
My yes was complete, however I was not finished doubting... a few days later I read this scripture...
That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. -Hebrews 4: 14
There's that beautiful, complex word; trust. Little did I know that when I prayed for trust to be the word of the year for me.. I would actually have to apply it to my life. I prayed telling God that I trust him and believe that he has a life for me that is meant to be lived; lived to the full.
final thoughts
That is the end of the story between the first thought of serving Young Lives and saying yes. However, it is the beginning of a story of which I am so delighted to take part.
I have officially left a career that I worked hard to achieve. Teaching. I am leaving a career that I love, I am passionate about, and which offers me a comfort financially. This journey is certainly not going to be easy, however I know with every fiber in my being; it is what I am supposed to do. That very thought keeps me moving in the midst of chaos.
I am leaving teaching in order to serve with a ministry that my heart is crazy about. I am serving in this ministry in order to grow in my faith and fall in love with Jesus as he works in my life and the lives of the people around me. I am beyond grateful that this small, insignificant story has been written to serve as a minute detail in His grand story, which cannot even be imagined, because of its complexity and beauty.
thank you
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wrote this, knowing it would be long; but I knew in my heart it was a story worth telling.
I am beyond grateful for my supportive family.
- My wise mother and my father who is full of faith as well as my three sisters who were encouraging and supportive through every step.
- Ms. Connie, who is like family, who is always there to give me wise counsel.
- My dear friends: Nonnie, Mia, Christi, Sarah, Zoe, Jess, Allison, Hannah, and Maggie just to name a few. Thank you girls for listening and always having an encouraging word to say.
- I want to give one more thank you to Carissa for walking through this with me and to the girls in my core group; Amanda, Jill, Miranda, Beth and Lindi for listening and walking with me through this process.
I love all of you deeply.
Here are some links in order for you to find out more about the ministry of Young Lives and to help out financially; as I will be raising money to serve part-time as the Northwest Arkansas Young Lives Coordinator. (I love saying that!)
Young Lives website:
To give financially:
Under 'Special Designation' click "Young Lives" and then write my name next to 'Sponsoring".
If you are interested in becoming my supporter through prayer or financially please contact me through Facebook (Sarah Ann Bost) or email (
sarahannbost@gmail.com)